Life as I know it...

Aww life with twins!! What a joy and a challenge! A couple of weeks ago it became necessary for Sean, Eden and the boys to move back in with Deshawn and I.

It has been an adjustment on all of us but I think for the most part we are all doing fine. Deshawn and I had to rearrange our study time and I had to understand that they are not MY kids but we are making it. I love waking up every morning and seeing their cute little faces!! My house smells like baby shampoo and diapers but its all good! I am blessed that I get the opportunity to spend so much time with my grandkids! I did not have that when I was young, and even though I was very close to my Grandmother in my adult life I did not get the benefit of having her around when I was a kid. The boys are learning to talk more everyday and are doing very well in listening to their Nona when she says NO!! Life is good.

The American Cancer Society - 2011 Relay For Life of Mesquite TX:

The American Cancer Society - 2011 Relay For Life of Mesquite TX:

Friends and Flowers

Last weekend while playing around on faceboook I found my friend Scott's page. He had decided to document his year in pictures. One picture each day that tells a story of what is happening in his world! What a marvelous idea! So Scott, his wife (and my best bud) Chels, and I set out for the Dallas Arboretum so I could get started on my 365 days worth of pictures. It was not as warm as I thought, in fact it was down right cold but we had a great time. I found some brave blooms and beautiful birds, Scott got some great ideas for location pictures for his portraits and we had lots of laughs. I have found that spending time with people you truly care for is the best medicine for whatever ales you! After weeks of feeling crappy on a physical and emotional level this day of photography and friendship is just what the doctor ordered!

Feeling hidden

Hello....Can you see or hear me? Sometimes I feel hidden almost invisible like I am walking through life kinda half in and half out. Monday I had to go to the Doctor for chest pains and shortness of breath, and while they took good care of me it always seemed that they were talking around me and not to me

That continued the entire time I was at the hospital, people were in my room talking but it was as if I was a silent bystander instead of a participant. This weirdness kept going last night at school. I made eye contact with people, said hello and they seemed to look right past me. I am here...right here. It's not like I am easy to miss, I am not exactly a quite or small person! I am not trying to be invisible or hidden, in fact I really find the feeling very unpleasant. I enjoy being noticed and heard, I am egotistical like that....its a Leo trait! So Here I am waving my arms, jumping up and down yelling HELLOOOO!!!

Here we go....

I am a little late on my holiday and new year posts but when recovering from a hysterectomy your mind is a little preoccupied. First the surgery went very well. The entire procedure took less than an hour I am told and I was up walking around the following day. The pathology came back free of cancer which is GREAT news. I am still a little sore when I do things I am not supposed to do( like pick Grand babies up!), but mostly I am doing very well and thankful for all the help I got from family and friends. I was lucky to be able to stay with Laura when I got out of the hospital. Mia and Tres helped to take very good care of me and I had a blast spending time with my sister, who has truly become my best friend. I came home in time to spend Christmas day with my wonderful Husband, my son, Archer and Murdoc! What a treat to see those beautiful babies open presents and play with the wrapping paper and boxes! The rest of the holidays were spent recovering and taking it easy, spending time with my good friend Janie, who was nice enough to come over and help me out while Deshawn was at work.

Now my long winter holiday is coming to an end. Deshawn and I both go back to school this coming week. We are both excited to get back to it and I am looking forward to getting another semester closer to my degree! So far 2011 is looking good...and i am looking forward to seeing old friends, making new ones and having a great adventure with my wonderful partner in life.

freaking out just a little...

I did not start this week off well... I was already plagued by horrible nightmares about my upcoming surgery but today has just been one disaster after another. First I woke up to my dog throwing up all over my book bag...which had my final paper in it...thankfully I got to the dog before my paper was ruined. So I went to go print my paper out again(minus the dog puke) and its not on my hard drive...anywhere. So I start to look for my flash drive...also missing AHHHHHH!!! long story short I have to rewrite my final paper from scratch and it is due tomorrow at 1pm!

Normally this would not be a problem except for the fact that I have already sold back my books and I have no idea what assessments I had written on in the first place. My mind has not exactly been on school the last week or so because I am so worried about this surgery I have coming up on Thursday! needless to say I am a little freaked out about this paper...it is worth allot towards my final grade. I keep telling myself everything will be okay but I am not believing myself! I know I can figure it out, but I am really not in the right place in my head...

On top of the paper issue I have my pre-op appointment today, I have a ton of house cleaning to do before I go into the hospital and I am scared to death about the surgery! I know Hysterectomys are common and my doctor has done many over the 20+ years he has been practicing but I am still scared. To say nothing of the fact that this is a HUGE change. Loosing parts that make me a woman is not only scary but sad. I know I don't want anymore kids, it's not that really...its just a change I was hoping would come naturally, having parts removed seems violent somehow. I know I will feel so much better afterward, but still there the fear is looming over my head. Goddess bring clamness to my thought and bravery to my heart!

Happy first birthday little ones!!

Tomorrow my sweet little grandsons will offically be one year old! My how time flies! It seems like yesterday when we were welcoming these two little sweethearts into the world! My life has truly been blessed by their presence! Archer has become such a little charmer. It takes a little while for him to warm up to you but once he does its all smiles after that!! Murdoc is ALL boy. He loves to tackle his brother and play rough! They both are saying a couple of words now, like dog, cat and Murdoc even said truck and cool yesterday! Archer is walking everywhere now while Murdoc has started to Dance to music!

They are changing so fast and I am so happy I get to see them as often as I can! We had a great time at their birthday celebration, watching them open presents, eat the wrapping paper and try their first taste of cake! My only wish is that they people in my life that have passed were here to see them, but I am sure that GiGi and Stephen are watching over them!