Thanksgiving with the In-laws!

I was very blessed to spend my first Thanksgiving with my in-laws this year.Tina and Dewayne are lovely people and after spending the day with them I see where Deshawn gets his charm and his love for life. They have a beautiful home in Allen Texas and for the most part it was a wonderful day. I spent a lot of time talking to my mother in law about mine and Deshawn's life together and how perfect we are for each other. She thanked me for being a good wife to her son which was HUGE for me. We had a wonderful dinner with Smoked Turkey, ham, collard greens, candied yams, and cornbread stuffing and then topped off with my mother-in-laws sweet potato pie and her Pumpkin cake! Everyone, with the exception of D's youngest sister Chantel welcomed me with open arms and so much Love! It was a great day and I am happy to call these wonderful people my family!

what are you Thankful for....

Every year around this time I begin to look back at my life and think about the things I am truly thankful for. One of the biggest gifts I have been given is time. Sadly I have not spent that time with many people who mean so much to me. We all tend to get caught up in our own lives but one of the things I have learned is that you never know what tomorrow will bring. Yo never know if that last thing you said to someone will be the last thing that person hears from you. Life is so short and I need to be more active in telling the people I love that I love them. It makes me sad, especially around the holidays, that my family is so spread out. I was blessed to have my father live only a few hours away from me, but I didn't make that trip often enough. Now he is thousands of miles away and I wish I could see him. My sisters only live 45 minuets away I don't see either of them nearly enough. It is time for me to make a better effort. I love my family and friends and I don't tell them that nearly enough. I am so thankful for the people I have been blessed to know in this lifetime, some are still with and me and too many are not. For the ones that are not in my life anymore I am so thankful for the memories I have.

Memories, light the corners of My mind

I have always been a fan of the amazing Barbra. Today she was on the Oprah Winfrey show

to do her very first television interview with her co-star of the Way We Were, Robert Redford. The Way We Were is one of my favorite all time movies and the final scene when Barbra brushes the hair from Robert's face still brings a tear to my eye.

Listening to her sing always reminds me of Christmas at my Grandmothers house. I know its a strange connection. My Grandmother used to encourage us to perform for family at Christmas. My first Christmas with her I sang a Barbara Streisand song badly...my family was kind and said I did well but no one can sing like Barbra! Every time I hear her I think of those times. Today, for some reason I got very emotional while watching the interview. It occurred to me that I miss my Grandmother a lot, in fact I miss my entire family. I always seem to get nostalgic when it gets close to the Holidays but today I found myself thinking about those Holidays with my Grandmother and wishing she were here to tell me everything was going to be okay. I miss my Aunt Pat and her twisted sense of humor, I miss My Muff and her hugs, and I miss sitting with my Dad while Grandmother told the story of the littlest Angel. Isn't funny how one song or one person can bring all those kinds of memories flooding back. How I wish I could get my Dads side of the family together again, but we are all so spread out these days, we are literally from coast to coast. For now I guess I will just put on some Barbra and have fond memories of Christmas past. Thanks for the memories Ms. Streisand!

and the hits just keep coming...

Yesterday was one of the worst days for me....I am battling severe pain on a daily basis now and it is getting to me. My patients is thin and I am so tired. I know everyone has a lot on their plates these days and that it is not just me. Everyone's world seems to be changing and some of these changes are not for the good.

I fear I lost a friend yesterday and that breaks my heart. Things were said that were very hurtful to me and I reacted in a manner that I am not proud of. Since that conversation I have been up in my head about what was said and now find myself scared to death that I am going to lose the things that mean the most to me if I don't make the sacrifices I don't what to make. I know this all seems cryptic but the very few I have talked to about what happened yesterday know what I am trying to say here. I love my family and my friends and I love my husband I should not have to choose between the two. I am grateful that Deshawn loves me and that I am home for him as he is home for me. At the end of the day I know we will make it no matter where we live. It just hurts to think that any my friends would view of our relationship as not being that strong. I guess Mine and D's faith is all that matters.

Really?

There seriously must be something in the water or air that is causing people to be hateful. It seems that there is a lot of gossip and back stabbing going on lately...and the really surprising thing is who it is coming from. It makes me sad that these people have nothing better to do. Why spend that kind of energy to spread poison? It just makes the person talking look shallow and mean. I don't get it. I don't care who is sleeping with who, what this person said about that person or why this person is doing this that or the other...it's just pointless crap! I am choosing to not participate in the foolishness. We are all grown-ups, and need to act that way. If you want to get your dander up about something talk about the lack of civil rights for the Homosexual community, the rising cost of health care, or the increasing number of people that are going hungry in our own country!! These are things we should be getting fired up about, not whether or not one person screwed another over. Tonight as I have my daily conversation with my higher power I will ask for love and compassion to cover all those in my world with hopes that we all can get back to being spiritual beings....

Is there something in the water?

I am beginnig to wonder if there is something in the water that is making bad things happen to good people. So many of my friends and family seem to be having such a hard time right now. I have one friend that is battling against a despicable man who sold her a house that is about to fall down. He lied to her and falsified the sale papers. She is desperately trying to find a solution without it costing her thousand and thousands of dollars. I have another friend who is having to go to court because her ex-husand is an idiot and does not know how to take care of his own children. Another friend who has been in and out of the hospital so many times they should give him a discount, and another who just lost her mom, and the list goes on and on. It's crazy! My own corner of the world seems to unraveling at the seams. In the last couple of weeks I have had to confront a good friend about a relapse, deal with horrible pain and bleeding from my wacked out menstral cycle, fallen down the stairs at school,am having communication issues with the person closest to me, and lost my job! Something has to give. SO I am putting it out to the universe... we are all strong enough to handle the things that life is throwing at us and soon we will all be alright! Change is in the air my friends, Just hang on! Much love to all of you!

Overwhelmed

After having such success in getting my associates degree I foolishly thought that classes at the University level would be about the same, boy was I WRONG! I went in to this semester feeling very unprepared, partly because I had to wait to register and by the time I could do so classes were about to start. I had no time to look over my reading materials or anything. This is also the first semester that I have worked full time, on top of that I have been working on getting Deshawn ready for Auditions, have had more than my normal share of health issue, members of the family have been sick, blah blah blah. I just have too much on my plate. SO I had to start looking at what needs to be cut out and what needs to be done to ensure my own peace of mind. In the all the caos I have stopped walking and doing Yoga which is not a smart move when I am trying to lose weight and strengthen the muscles that have been hidden for so long. So here is my plan, no work on class days(Monday and Tuesday), Homework only Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday afternoon, yoga Monday, Wednesday and Friday no matter what and walking as often as possible. Deshawn has agreed to help with housework more and take on some of the networking needed for his wrestling career. I have let family and friends know that my education must come first. I am there for them as much I can be as long as it does not interfere with school. I need to get some serious time management skills in place and I need to remember to take care of myself! So my dear friends and family if I seem out of pocket it is not because I don't love you, it is because I have to keep my focus to be successful and not lose my mind in the process!