as time goes by

I have been told by many people that this year wil be a tough one for me. As time goes by I will run into people that didn't hear the news about Stephen and I will find myself reliving everything all over again. I don't mind really. So many people loved Stephen. There was no way I could get in touch with everyone that Stephen knew, so many people have gone their seperate ways. As it gets closer to Faire season I realize that there were so many people that knew us, we have been going to faire for 18 years now after all- I recieved an email from one of the perfomers of Scarborough today that really touched me. He told that he of course was sad for my loss but he also told me that Stephen would want me to see the beauty of every day with new eyes, eyes that now have more appreciation for living everyday to the fullest because you never know what tomorrow holds. That is what I intend to do, not just for Stephen but for Sean, and most importantly for myself as well. Stephen would not want me to feel guilty for laughing and being happy. I am going to try to honor Stephen by living life the way he would want me to.