today

I found myself feeling very sad today. It's the first time I have been really down since my infamous hospital stay. Don't get me wrong I knew that just because I was now on medication didn't meant that I would no longer have to deal with extreme emotions. I am still going through the grieving process and today i found myself missing Stephen so much. It seemed that everything in my path today triggered some memory of my boy. Even now as I sit here with my ipod on and Bless the Broken blaring in my ears all I can think about is the time Stephen and I actually went to a concert together and how much fun it was for me to see Stephen rocking out and having a great time. It was so funny to see the reaction we got when people found out that I was Stephen's MOTHER and that I was digging the tunes just as much as he was!!!I guess now that Sean has moved out on his own I am feeling a little empty and unsure of what it is I am suppossed to be doing. The important thing is I give myself permission to be sad.