Sleepless in Mesquite

It's one of those nights again. You know the nights when your mind is racing, skipping from one thought to the next with lightening speed and you just can't seem to slow it down.It's that kind of night tonight.
Lately I have been disappointed by some peoples actions and it was brought to me attention that maybe my expectations of people are too high. That made me think that maybe I do expect too much from my friends in particular.But I had an Aha moment, I expect just as much from myself as I do from others. I expect to be mindful of other peoples feelings, to be compassionate, and to give what I can of myself to help others. My true friends are the ones that give what I give and have just as high standards as I do, and why shouldn't it be that way? I am a great friend that will give the shirt off my back and the last dollar in my pocket if thats what is needed of me, but it's not just about that. It's about caring enough to do the little things like call if you can't make it or your are running late, it's about saying thank you and meaning it, it's about really being there for someone if you say you are going to be. I had a hard night tonight, and I went through my list of so-called close or best friends...two answered the call. I am truly blessed to have that many and I thank the goddess everyday for both of them. Now some of you that read my blog might think HEY, she didn't call me, and some of you would be right. It's not that I don't think you are a good friend or that you are one of these people I am talking about it, the ones I called know who you are and the two that talked me through the darkness know who you are, naming names would just be petty and pointless. Now here is my other AHa moment... they only person I can truly count on no matter what is me. I have to have faith that I can handle whatever life throws at me no matter who is standing beside and behind me. I am a strong woman and I can do this with or with out anyone. We all, as human beings, need to feel loved, needed and wanted and in my life I have been blessed to feel all of those things, But I alone am responsible for my own fate. I make the choices in my life no one makes them for me and I am willing and able to take the consequences that go along with those choices.