This past weekend was filled with extreme ups and downs. Saturday was a great day with a visit from our friends Michelle and Scott Hammock. We watched a movie together and had a nice dinner and talked. Later that day I went to the gym with my roomie Gabriel and had a great workout...but unfortunately I got on the scale and found that I am not making the progress I want to be. Just like clockwork when I started to feel really bad about it Dad called! He told me he was proud of the fact that I get on the treadmill and that not to weigh so much and not to get obsessed about it. I love my Pop! Sunday I woke from a horrible nightmare about Stephen and the day went down hill from there. I still feel very guilty where Stephen in concerned and that guilt sometimes get in the way of living a happy life. Because I always seem to hurt the ones closest to me my Husband and my son end up in my crosshairs. It's not them I am mad at, but I am mad at Stephen and myself and I can't seem to get past that. My good friend Dina came to my rescue last night and spent about 2 hours letting me cry on her shoulder, she didn't say much but she did hug me and let me know that I am loved by a lot of people and they do understand that my pain and guilt are not just going to go away, they just want me to be happy again and they are all here for me. I am blessed to have such a great friend and such a great husband and son in my life, as well as the rest of my family who have stood by my through all of this. I love you all so much.
1 comment:
Lyndi,
Just a suggestion. Don't get hung up about weight. For one thing, the muscle that you are getting from your work weighs but it is healthier then the fat. The main thing is to watch your portions, watch what you eat and keep exercising. Remember, you didn't put it on in one day so don't expect it to go off in one day(or week or month or year). As for guilt, ask for forgiveness from your HP for Stephen and for you. God loves you and wants you to heal. Dwelling only festers. Muff
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