boy trouble

There is a poem I read once about a lonely reed in the water...I believe it was by T.S. Elliot, anyway I wish I could remember exactly how it went because it would be perfect in describing my week. I have felt very alone. I feel disconnected from my family, especially from my son. Sean goes through rebellious periods that are really hard to deal with, this week being one of those periods. One of the most frustrating things with Stephen is that he always thought he was "Untouchable," and now Sean seems to be having the same problem. Of course this behavior terrifies me given the end result in Stephen's case. I am trying hard not to let that fear dictate how I handle Sean's behavior.I am lucky in that I have a husband that will back me up and keep me strong but Sean seems to rebel harder when Deshawn gets involved so I am left to deal with him on my own. I have been through all of this before, with both boys, but this time I am just worn out. Sean has been in this struggle with the law for 6 years now and I am just tired. I know that if he stays on this path the outcome will not be a positive one. He says he plans on going back to school in the Spring and that he has been looking for job, all of which I will believe when I see it. I want so much to have faith in my kid and to trust him, but his past has taught me different and I can't put into words how much that hurts me.I am less inclined to be as hard on Sean as I was on his brother for obvious reasons, and Sean knows that. Tough love is not my strong point, at least not with Sean. I was pretty hard on Stephen, but that has just turned in to guilt now that he is gone...so here I am alone with by back against a wall, do I put my foot down and risk loosing my son or do I let him go and have the same risk? Either way it seems that both Sean and I loose, I just can't find a positive in this.